Open the Heart Up
Looking back at photos through the years, at first, I noticed that my practice hit a plateau. I started to judge myself from these old pictures, exclaiming terribly mean things to myself in my own mind. Then, I sat in total awareness of these awful words spinning in my head, consciously addressed them and realized maybe I’m being too hard on myself, expecting that I should be somewhere I’m just not yet! My main judgement? How heart space still doesn’t want to open up. No matter how many years I practice, it just won’t give in and surrender! My spine has been injured in the past and I’ve done so much work to heal, protect and strengthen it but for some reason my body feels stuck there. My spine feels like a rigid wooden board, any backbends are too deep and too scary to attempt. But seriously…What am I so afraid of? Why am I fearful of cracking it open, peeling away the shells and showing the truth in my heart? Why do I let fear rule my space of love? For now, the answer came as a reminder to CHILL OUT and STOP 🛑 ✋ the hyper critical talk of where I am and where I think I should be. I am right here, as I am, and that is truly a fan-fucking-tastic place to be.